If It Meant Living-15: Savior

If It Meant Living - Chapter 15
"Savior"

Title: If It Meant Living – Chapter 15:  "Savior"
Author: Graceyn
Game: Mass Effect/Mass Effect 2
Characters/pairing: femShep/Kaidan
Disclaimer: Bioware owns all rights to Mass Effect and its characters
Content Warning: Violence, Language

---

Author's Note:  This is an expansion of the one-shot If It Meant Living. The title comes from one of Graceyn Shepard's core characteristics: "she was never afraid to risk dying if it meant living in the process."   This story is canonical with respect to the major events, but new scenes are added and dialogue is often modified.  The focus is on perspective and character development rather than following the specific events, so even if you have played ME 1-2 many times, you should be entertained.

---

  

Garrus stared ruefully at the wreckage of the Mako, spread out over the Presidium promenade in several more pieces than it should have been.  "I don't think I'm going to be able to fix that."

Shepard burst out laughing, doubled over in pain though she was.  "No Garrus, I don't expect you will."

The Citadel Conduit twin slowly spun down, the blinding light slowly fading, leaving her blinking away the halos it left behind.  The discordant hum in her teeth finally, mercifully receded.

Kaidan massaged his shoulder gingerly.  "I told you that statue hummed."  She smiled over at him as she carefully tested out weight on her ankle.  He returned the smile in full and with a look of…something.  What was it?  She blinked.  Focus on the task at hand, Shepard… just call it unadulterated affection for now; revisit it later – if a later came.  She was fairly certain she wouldn't have any difficulty recalling this particular look at such later, calmer time.

Satisfied that her ankle wasn't going to betray her, she straightened up.  

"Who wants to go save all sentient life with me?"  Two hands obediently rose.  "Let's do this."  

A few minutes later the elevator, formerly zipping along with all due speed, suddenly lurched to a violent stop.  They were stuck, suspended two-thirds of the way up.  She looked up, then down.

"Suit up.  We're going outside."

Garrus broke the glass and she stepped through – into nothingness.

She floated for the briefest of moments before her boots clamped down on the…wall, for lack of anything else to call it.  She didn't notice.  She was frozen in awe.

The arms of the Citadel extended out in every direction.  A million lights of civilization twinkled around her, dancing in a rhythm that sang life.  She could feel it in her skin, in her mind, in her heartbeat.  The nebula glowed lavender and blue through the spaces in between, enveloping the Citadel in its warmth.  The trillion stars of the galaxy peeked in from beyond.

Oh Dad, I have done so, so much more than survive.  If only you could see me now, standing before all the wonder the galaxy has to show me.

"Um…Commander?"  Garrus cleared his throat over the comm.

Kaidan chuckled softly.  "The Commander has a weakness for scenic vistas, Garrus."

"Sceni – scenic vistas!  Do you two not see this?  It's magnificent – incredible – beautiful…"  She turned to Kaidan, gesturing out at the marvel beyond.

She could see him smile behind the helmet.  He mouthed, silently, "Yes."  But it seemed he looked only at her.

She took one last, long look at the remarkable view before her, then sighed dramatically.  "Okay.  Galaxy.  Sentient Life.  Reapers.  Moving on."

Fiery pieces of ship wreckage floated in the air as they climbed – down?  up?  sideways? – towards the Council Chamber, flinging Geth out into space along the way.  Sovereign was attached to the top of the Spire, legs wrapped around it protectively.  As mammoth as Sovereign surely was, he was utterly dwarfed by the Citadel arms; a speck of dust in a city.  Admittedly, a horrible, lethal terror of a speck of dust.

They fought the whole way – Geth, Krogan, turrets, dropships – it was a never-ending sea of adversaries.  With each enemy encountered and disposed of, she became more energized, but also more…twitchy.  Seconds were ticking by, one after another after another.  She hoped it wasn't too late – the Citadel arms hadn't exploded in the fire of a massive Reaper invasion, so she assumed it was not – but it felt too late.  She wanted to run.  She needed to run.  Unfortunately, magnetic boots in zero gravity did not lend themselves to running.

Finally, after what seemed months, years, they reached the hatch that opened to the Council Chamber.

They dropped down into fire.  The trees and plants that decorated the Chamber entrance, gathered from a hundred worlds, were ablaze.  Flames licked at the walls, stripping off the murals that had covered them.  It was a vision of Hell.  But further, above the Council meeting area, bright white light streamed in, almost as if rays of sunlight shone down from Heaven.  

The fire and the light met at the edge of the walkway, where Heaven and Hell raged a battle.  And at the center of the battle stood Saren.  At last, she ran.

***

She threw herself against the staircase as the grenade exploded.  Garrus on her left, Kaidan on her right, found some measure of cover.

"I was afraid you wouldn't make it in time Shepard."

She smirked, not caring that he couldn't see it.  "Had to wipe out a few hundred of your followers along the way.  Sorry if I kept you waiting."

He didn't turn around, kept working at the panel.  "In a few minutes Sovereign will have full control of all the Citadel's systems.  The relay will open.  And the Reapers will return."

"Saren, I am coming for that control panel, and you won't be able to stop me."

He turned towards her then.  "You survived our encounter on Virmire, but I've changed since then.  Improved.  Sovereign has…upgraded me."

Holy hell.  Her skin crawled.  "You let Sovereign implant you?  Are you insane!"

"My doubts are gone.  I believe in Sovereign completely.  I understand that the Reapers need organics.  Join us and Sovereign will find a place for you too."

Oh yes, let's sit at the right hand of the Devil as he slaughters the world…

"I would rather die than live like that."

"Then you will die.  And your companions.  Everyone you know and love.  Everyone you've ever met.  Don't you understand?  You will all die!  The Reapers cannot be stopped."

He didn't know it of course, but thirteen years ago she had watched all her companions – everyone she knew and loved – everyone she'd ever met – die.

She had lived.

She stood up, gun aimed, hands steady.  "I can stop it from taking control of the station.  Step aside, and the invasion never happens."  She began approaching him, step by slow, careful step.

He waved his arms about.  "You saw the visions, you saw what happened to the Protheans.  The Reapers are too powerful!"

Another step.  Calm.  Even.  Focused.  "Some part of you must still realize this is wrong.  You can fight this."

He blinked, and for a moment looked remarkably like Matriarch Benezia had in the moments before her death.  "Maybe you're right…maybe there is still a chance for…" He clutched his head and doubled over.  "The implants…too strong…too late…"

She planted her feet solid.  "It's not over yet.  You can still redeem yourself."

He calmed; a look of peace came over his face.  She had never seen this Saren.  "Goodbye Shepard.  Thank you."

He blew his brains out and crashed through the glass to the garden below.

She smiled.  That worked too.  She imagined the smart-ass comment Ashley would have made – "We traveled halfway around the galaxy, to every shithole, third world, backwater planet in charted space, just to shoot that son of a bitch, and in the end he does it himself.  Dammit!…who should I shoot now, Commander?" – and laughed as if it had been spoken aloud by her friend.

But then she remembered.  Sovereign.  Not done just yet.

She opened the holographic control panel and fed it Vigil's data file.  The Chamber immediately filled with the sounds of battle.  A distress call rang out from the Destiny Ascension.  "…40 percent…Council aboard…failing…"

"Normandy to the Citadel.  Normandy to the Citadel.  Please tell me that's you Commander."

She grinned.  "You were expecting someone else, Joker?"

"No ma'am.  We caught that distress call.  I'm sitting here at the relay with the entire Arcturus fleet.  Open the relays and we can save her."

She took a second – maybe two – to think.  She really didn't like the Council.  She appreciated them for naming her a Spectre and all, but really, truly, didn't like them.  They were smug, arrogant, condescending, narrow-minded, consumed with political maneuvers.  She listened to the battle rage outside.  She didn't know for certain how many Geth ships were out there.  The Alliance fleet would probably be able to buy enough time for the Destiny Ascension to escape, but there would be casualties.  A lot of casualties.  And then there would be Sovereign.  

She had ordered men to their death before, with full knowledge that she was doing so.  But never when there was any other choice…and never so many.

She looked out at the Citadel arms surrounding the Spire.  So much life.  A galaxy's representation of life.   The Council held it all together.  It stood as a symbol – a sign – to the trillions of people from hundreds of races, thousands of worlds, that it was okay for them to live in peace; to work together, or at least not apart.  If the Council died, the galaxy may be saved, but the glue holding it together may fail.  And that was the truth at the core of it all.

"Opening the relays now Joker.  We need to save the Ascension, no matter what the cost."

In a few seconds Admiral Hackett's voice joined the cacophony, directing the Alliance fleet.  Oh how she wished she could see the battle; it was surely a sight to behold.

"Destiny Ascension, you are all clear; repeat, you are all clear."  She let go the breath she had been holding.  "The Citadel is opening – move in, concentrate on Sovereign!"

Her wish was granted, and the arms expanded outward to reveal a sky in chaos.

After a moment she tore her eyes downward to the body below her.  "Make sure he's dead."

Garrus and Kaidan wound their way down to the garden below.  Garrus walked straight up to Saren and shot him in the head.

Okay then.

She started to consider relaxing – sure, Sovereign was still attached to the Spire, but the galactic fleet could handle that much better than she – when the floor under her feet moved.  Everything was moving – the room shook, glass shattered – the floor cracked then disappeared.

She crashed to the ground below – hey, at least it was grass.  A silver lining in every fall, that was her motto…okay, not really.  The ankle she had banged up in their slingshot across the galaxy throbbed in agony – and was immediately forgotten in the face of what appeared before her.

The remnants of Saren glowed red in an intricate weaving of wires, implants, cybernetics.  It was a monster.  In a strange moment of pity, she found herself glad Saren could not see what he had become.  For all the evil he had wrought, he had been but a pawn in a game of chess played by the masters.

The monster stretched to its full height and roared.  "I am Sovereign, and this station is MINE!"

No, no it most certainly was NOT his fucking station…

She struck out at him.  They all did.  It jumped, and flailed about, and threw out biotics, and roared some more.  The battle raged in the ruined garden.  In the end, they were better.

And so in the culmination of the hundred events of her life that led to this moment, she saved the world.  All the worlds.  The monster fell.  The briefest of moments later, Sovereign fell.

They had won.

She laughed in delight, in joy.  She was alive – so very, very alive.
  
She turned around to find Kaidan behind her and moved to grab him and kiss him – Garrus surely wouldn't mind, just this once – when the remaining glass shattered and pieces of Sovereign came flying towards them.

"GO!"

She ran – but there was nowhere to run to.  Impossibly large pieces of an impossibly large enemy crashed down upon them.

***

She slowly opened one eye.  Ugh.  That hurt.

She took a moment to determine what hurt the most.  Her ankle…no, her arm.  Definitely her arm.  That was a break if she'd ever seen one – which she had.  She set about the task of removing the Reaper on top of her with her one good arm.  Eventually, she succeeded.

She climbed over the wreckage, scanning for – there.  They were okay.  And Anderson was there too.  She grinned.

I found a way to survive Dad.  To live.  

One more time, I found a way.

---

She stood respectfully at Anderson's side in front of the Council, dress blues pressed, shoes and buttons shined to a gleam, unruly hair mostly tamed into a tight ponytail.  It had grown quite a bit during her journey; there was no time for haircuts when saving the galaxy.  She should probably see to that – later.  Ceremony.  Accolades.  Focus.

"We have gathered here to recognize the enormous contributions of the Alliance forces in the war against Sovereign and the Geth.  Many humans lost their lives in the battle – brave and courageous soldiers who willingly gave their lives so that we may live.  The Council also owes you a great personal debt Commander.  Your actions saved the lives of trillions from Sovereign and the Reapers."

"Humanity has shown it is ready to stand as a protector and defender of the galaxy.  We are prepared to offer humanity a seat on this Council."

Off to her right, Udina preened.  "On behalf of humanity, we thank you and humbly accept."  She rolled her eyes.

The Asari Councilor turned to her.  "Commander, given all that has happened, I am sure your recommendation will carry a great deal of weight.  Do you support any particular candidate?"

She grinned.  They was going to be so much fun.

"We need someone with the courage to stand up for what he believes in."  She glanced to her left, mischief dancing in her eyes.  "Someone like Captain Anderson."  He glared at her, eyes narrowed, and muttered under this breath.  "I will get you for this...."  She laughed.

Udina, however, did not laugh.  He sputtered.  "HIM?  You must be joking!  Anderson prefers his fists to do the talking!"

"Only with you, Ambassador.  Only with you."

Udina was unfazed.  "Are you sure about this Commander?  The Captain is a soldier, not a politician."  He spat the word soldier as if it were an epithet.

She turned to Udina in annoyance.  Enough was enough.  "I'm not picking you!  Get over yourself already and save us the torture of listening to you beg."

Behind her, Anderson tried valiantly – but ultimately unsuccessfully – to choke back uproarious laughter.

Her work here done, Commander Graceyn Shepard turned and strode away wearing a smile that could light the night sky.