If It Meant Living-59: Bugs, Biotics and...

If It Meant Living - Chapter 59
"Bugs, Biotics and Breathless Moments"

Title: If It Meant Living – Chapter 59:  "Bugs, Biotics and Breathless Moments"
Author: Graceyn
Game: Mass Effect/Mass Effect 2/Mass Effect 3
Characters/pairing: femShep/Kaidan
Disclaimer: Bioware owns all rights to Mass Effect and its characters
Content Warning: Violence, Language, Sexual Themes

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We stand before you.  What will you sing?  Will you release us?  Are we to fade away once more?

Old decisions come round again…but for what?  To bite her in the ass?  To give her a second chance to choose another path?  To right a wrong, or turn wrong a right?

The yawning blackness of the cavern swirled around her, ghosts whispering in the silence.  Shepard looked up at the chained Rachni Queen, towering over her from the black.

"How did this happen?  You told me you wouldn't try to harm anyone.  Dammit, you told me you would help me when the Reapers came.  I took a tremendous risk when I released you; I chose to trust you when no one else would.  And now I find you like this, breeding an army for the Reapers!  Goddammit!"

The Queen's voice reverberated from the mouths of a dozen dead Krogan, almost but not quite in unison, creating a multi-tonal harmony that could almost resemble the music of the true Rachni language.  "We did not wish this, Shepard.  We did as we promised, we retreated, we began to build a new life for our children.  But the sour yellow note of the enemy invaded our home, turned our children against us, eventually enslaved us.  The discordant song of the enemy bombards our mind even now, though we resist it still.  But the children we birth, they hear no song but that of the enemy, and are lost to us yet again."

Shepard pursed her lips in frustration and gazed around the cavern, looking for an answer in the shadows.  Instead she found Vega peering closely at one of the webbed Krogan.  He reached up and poked at its lips.

She hissed sharply, "James!"

He turned quickly to her, shrugging.  "What?  It's damned weird!"  She glared at him threateningly.  "Fine, fine, I'll stop…"

Her gaze slid away from him and back towards the Queen, but caught Kaidan watching her along the way.  She couldn't entirely suppress a grin at the fact that he was really, truly here.  Covered in gore and goo from an assortment of Husks, but here.

He rubbed his jaw thoughtfully, looking up at the Queen then back at her.  "You know, Shepard, it doesn't sound like she betrayed your trust.  Assuming you believe her of course, she kept the promise she made to you on Noveria.  Maybe she's just an unwilling pawn, like so many others."

Garrus huffed in exasperation.  "How would you know?  I don't seem to remember you being on that mission, Kaidan."

Kaidan looked over his shoulder, his expression calm.  "No, Garrus.  I wasn't.  But am I wrong?"

Garrus' mandibles fluttered.  "No…you're not.  It's just that, what the Rachni did to my people…we were nearly wiped out."

Shepard glanced sideways at him, an intrigued look on her face.  "You didn't question my decision last time, Garrus."

He met her gaze.  "No, I didn't.  Back then I was still completely in awe to be standing in the shadow of Commander Fucking Shepard – no way was I going to challenge you."

She raised an eyebrow.  "And now?"

He smiled a little.  "Now I've seen your scars."

She opened her mouth to retort when the voices sang around them.  "The enemy soured the songs of our mothers' mothers.  Their actions were not their own.  We mean no harm to those who walk the worlds of the galaxy."

Shepard looked back up.  "So you do believe the Reapers instigated – "

"Shepard!"  Grunt squawked from her comm.  "Those bugs are coming back; we need to get out of here!"

"Right – just hold on a second."  She stared up at the Queen.  "If I release you, you'll help us against the Reapers?"

The Queen shuddered, and the walls of the cavern shook.  "We will keep our vow to you.  As we once promised, our voice will join with yours and our crescendo will burn the darkness clean.  We will do so for our children – for all that have been lost, and for all that may yet be."

Shepard closed her eyes and listened to the silence.  The Rachni hadn't done anything wrong.  Their Husks were no more culpable than the growing hordes of human or Turian Husks, turned into mindless zombies, no longer what they were.  The Queen had been captured against her will, bound and chained in the inky blackness, forced to birth untold children only to have them stolen from her.

"Shepard…"  Grunt growled from her comm.  She opened her eyes, pulled up her rifle and quickly shot out the remaining restraints.  

The Queen swayed, sinking low, but did not collapse; then she found her strength and slowly stood tall.  Suddenly an explosion of color burst into Shepard's mind – purples and reds and blues swirling around a starburst white center.  "Thank you, Shepard.  The Rachni will sing again, because of you."

She blinked roughly, trying to clear halos that lingered in her mind but not her vision.  She looked quickly over at Kaidan.  "Did you see that?"  His head shook questioningly.

The sounds of skittering Rachni echoing through the cavern pulled her back into the moment.  She nodded quickly.  "Let's go."  She hit her comm on the run.  "Grunt, we're on our way to you.  Tell your men to make sure the Queen gets out safely."

"WHAT!  Dammit I always knew you were insane!  I can't – "

She leapt up onto the rocky ledge and motioned the guys into the tunnel ahead of her as the skittering behind them grew ever louder.  "Just do it!"

The Rachni started pouring in at the T-junction of several tunnels.  James threw two frag grenades into the dark left tunnel and they ran down the right tunnel.  It opened into a small cavern and to Grunt laughing over a sea of dead Rachni.

"About time, Shepard!  You and all that talking you insist on doing.  Come on, the exit's this way – "  A horde of Rachni began pouring out from the tunnel below them even as skittering sounds echoed behind them.  The cavern and tunnels shuddered, rocks raining down on them from the ceiling.

Grunt snorted.  "Looks like your Rachni Queen is finding her own way out, and it's going to bring down the entire cave network."  He pumped his shotgun.  "Get outta here, Shepard.  I got this."

She grabbed his arm.  "Now you're the one that's insane – come on, let's go!"

"Can't risk any getting out, Shepard."  He grinned at her.  "You taught me to be fearless – time for me to be it.  Now get your ass outta here before I have to save it!"

She clasped his shoulder and nodded tightly, gazing up at him for a second with a slight smile before turning and running.  She could hear his cackle echoing through the cavern as they sprinted up the tunnel.

They stumbled into the sunlight as the caverns collapsed behind them with a thunderous roar.  Several members of Aralakh Company trudged wearily up the hill ahead of them.  She stopped and looked back at the cave entrance, a faint cloud of dust and debris already obscuring it, and sighed quietly.  She hit her comm.  "Cortez, we're ready for a pickup at my coordinates.  I need you to give a couple of Krogan a ride over to their shuttle, then come back for us."

As the shuttle lifted off with its Krogan cargo a few minutes later, she plopped herself down in the dirt, pulling up her knees and draping her arms over them.  Kaidan sat down next to her, wiping dirt and an unidentified substance from his brow before mimicking her pose, draping his arms over his knees such that his elbow barely touched hers.  Even through the armor it was soothing, slowing her racing heartbeat and calming her racing thoughts.

Garrus squatted on her other side but didn't sit down.  "I've got to say, I was never really sure about Grunt.  But it turned out that when it mattered, he didn't hesitate to take the leap."

She chuckled, shaking her head ruefully.  "He was a crazy S.O.B, but a fearless one."

James sprawled out flat in the dirt in front of them, crossing his hands behind his head then settling back against them.  "So, Shepard…Reapers, Collectors, Thorian, Rachni…are there any mysterious, long-lost aliens you haven't danced with?"

She squinted up at the hazy yellow sky.  "Well, I haven't actually met a Prothean…though they do live in my head, so arguably that counts."

His hand waved dismissively in her direction.  "Bah, the Collectors were once Protheans, that's cheating.  I mean something cool, like – "

She jumped to her feet and was sprinting down the slope towards the cave entrance before anyone else could blink.  

Kaidan knew better than to stop and wonder why before chasing after her.  When he caught up to her she was kneeling in the cloud of dust still emanating from the collapsed cave, her arms grasping…all he could see was a large mound of blood and gore.  He took a deep breath and knelt down, feeling around until he found an arm; he struggled to get a firm hold through the slippery gore coating it.

She looked over at him, her eyes sparkling through the haze.  "You ready?"  God how he loved her.  Being here with her.  Watching her smile, watching her shine…watching her soar.  He nodded, and together they lifted, struggling to a standing position.  The Krogan held between them stumbled, nearly pulling them all back down to the ground, then found his feet.  They took a step forward together, then another.

Grunt looked over at Shepard, giving her a toothy grin through the blood.  "My battlemaster…"  He suddenly sagged heavily against them.

"A little help here!"  She yelled up the hill, and a second later Garrus and James appeared.  They carefully passed Grunt off to the undeniably larger men as the sounds of the shuttle approaching reverberated through the air.

As they walked on ahead towards the shuttle she glanced over at him.  "Everything okay between you and Garrus?"

Kaidan smiled vaguely but didn't look at her.  "Sure."

She stared at him unblinkingly, her eyes burning a hole through his head.  He bit his lower lip and gave in, meeting her stare.  "We'll work it out."

Her eyes narrowed.

He chuckled lightly and touched her shoulder briefly.  "We'll work it out."

She rolled her eyes and lifted her hands in surrender.  "Okay.  I won't meddle."

They reached the shuttle then turned and waited for the others to arrive, helping them heft Grunt into the shuttle.  She leaned into the cockpit.  "Lieutenant, let Dr. Chakwas know she has another familiar patient on the way to her."  

Then she squatted down next to Grunt and did her damnedest to keep him conscious and talking on the ride back.  In an act of desperation, the last five minutes consisted of the absolute worst jokes she knew.  James grimaced in physical pain, Kaidan shook his head in disbelief, and Garrus frowned in puzzlement – but Grunt laughed, and that was what mattered.

Aboard the Normandy, they got Grunt to the Med Lab only to be met with Chakwas' trademark frown.  "Oh dear…" was all she said before taking charge and shooing everyone except her med techs outside.

Shepard sagged against the wall outside the Med Lab, took two long, deep breaths, then pushed back off the wall and looked over at Kaidan.  "Come on, we need to go talk to Joker and EDI about finding the Migrant Fleet.  It's about damn time the Quarians got themselves into this fight."

He smirked at her as they stepped into the elevator.  "'We'?  And what is it exactly that I'm bringing to this discussion?"

Her head dropped against his shoulder as they leaned against the back of the elevator.  "Moral support, of course."

He relaxed into her, his hand lightly grasping hers.  "Moral support for what?"

"Watching Joker and EDI's excruciatingly painful mating dance," she deadpanned as the elevator doors opened.

He followed her out.  "Are they really…?"

She looked back  over her shoulder at him, wearing a wry grin.  "Yes…it would seem they are."

He frowned.  "But – "

Traynor turned suddenly as they passed her.  "Commander, do you have a minute?"

"Sure."  Shepard started to lean against Traynor's station, then realized she was still covered in blood and gore; she placed an ungloved and thus clean hand on it instead.

"We've picked up a distress call from Grissom Academy; it indicates they are under some sort of attack."

"Reapers?"

"No, ma'am…at least, there aren't any reports of Reaper activity in the system."

Shepard sighed thoughtfully.  "Are there any other ships closer that can take the call?  We already went way the hell out here as a favor to Wrex, and now we really need to head for the Migrant Fleet – Hackett's going to have my ass if I don't deliver him some Quarian support and soon."

Kaidan crossed his arms over his chest and gazed over at her.  "Shepard, you might want to think about taking this one."

She turned to him, concern evident in her expression.  "Do you have friends teaching there?"

"Not really.  But Anderson's girlfriend runs the place."

Her eyes widened incredulously and she slowly stood up straighter.  "His…girlfriend?"

He grinned mischievously at her.  "Yup."

A broad smile slowly spread across her face.  "Well who would've thought…EDI, set a course for Grissom Academy, priority speed."

The response came not from the speakers, but from behind her.  "Of course, Shepard."

She jumped and turned around to find EDI-in-a-body standing beside the galaxy map.  "EDI, you really need to work on worsening your stealth skills."

EDI frowned questioningly.  "I do not understand."

"Never mind.  How long will it take us to get to Grissom?"

"Approximately 5.6 hours."

She glanced up at the clock.  "Nighttime raid then.  I'll give Garrus and James a break, they did haul Grunt all the way up that hill and everything.  EDI, you up for it?"

EDI's chin lifted slightly.  "I am always 'up for it', Shepard."

She grinned.  "Right.  Let Liara know she'll be going too, in case she wants to take a nap beforehand."  She gingerly pulled matted strands of hair out in front of her face, frowning as she picked at a clump of gore stuck in them.  "As for me, shower…"  Her eyes slid over to Kaidan for only the briefest second before she turned towards the elevator.

Traynor glanced over her shoulder.  "Commander, are you sure Liara sleeps?"

Shepard shook her head slowly.  "No, Traynor, I'm honestly not.  But let her know anyway, just in case."  She headed for the elevator, glaring at the strands of hair outstretched in her hand.

The elevator doors opened and Vega trotted out, nodding to Shepard as he passed her.  "Just going to grab Joker for some five-card stud."  Kaidan turned towards the elevator to follow Shepard in, and as he did so Vega gave him a smirk and a little thumbs up.

He cringed.  This was…awkward.  In any other universe of circumstances, also unprofessional and risking a breakdown in shipboard discipline.  He watched Shepard as she stepped into the elevator, still playing gingerly with her hair.  On the other hand, this was this universe of circumstances, and…shower.  He glanced up at the Lieutenant, shrugged mildly, and followed her into the elevator, a smile slowly spreading across his face.

***

Liara leaned forward in the shuttle seat, arms resting on her thighs.  She breathed out harshly, then looked up.  "Shepard, are you sure this is the best use of our time?  I understand that there are children at risk, but…"

EDI turned to Liara.  "The biotics students at Grissom Academy are considered to be of the highest potential among second-generation human biotics.  They could be a valuable asset for the war effort."

Shepard grinned brightly.  "Anderson's girlfriend is there."

Liara frowned.  "Okay, but – "

Her expression turned serious.  "I think I probably owe him a favor or two by now…"  Back to a grin.  "Besides, I want to meet her."

Liara watched Shepard thoughtfully.  She was so damn happy; she positively glowed.  Liara hadn't seen her this happy since the days immediately following Sovereign's defeat, if even then.  It was a sight to behold.  That's what you want, right?  If you can't have her, you at least want her to be happy – right?  She glanced up at Shepard again; she was sharing a joke with EDI.  Yes.  It is.  Okay then.  She nodded to herself, silently setting aside a part of her heart until it may be needed again, should she survive this apocalypse.  

She smiled up at Shepard.  "Should be fun and rewarding then."

The shuttle swung to the side suddenly, avoiding the Cerberus fighters chasing the Normandy away from the Academy.  EDI smiled.  "Joker will be enjoying himself currently."

Shepard gazed at EDI, a startlingly perceptive expression on her face, as she nodded slowly.  "I imagine he will be."

Cortez glanced over his shoulder.  "We're coming into the side bay now, Commander."

She nodded brusquely, suddenly all business.  "Drop us in, Lieutenant, then stick around so long as those fighters stay away."

"Aye aye, ma'am."  The shuttle swooped into the bay, door opening as it swung in.

Her comm immediately started squawking.  "Do you read me?  This is Kahlee Sanders, I'm locked in the Security Office, it's – "

Shepard settled her feet onto the floor at a jog then hit her comm.  "Boots on the ground and we're on our way to you, Ms. Sanders.  ETA two minutes."

There were only a few Cerberus commandos between them and the Security Office.  Shepard nudged the last one over onto his back with her toes, then kicked his helmet off, revealing the electric white rivulets of Reaper tech beneath.  She stared at the body for a moment, shaking her head in disgust and muttering under her breath.  "Fucking Illusive Man, I swear I will rip his throat out…"  

The door lock turned green and she glanced behind her.  "Liara, EDI, keep a look out for incoming commandos."  

As she stepped inside the room a striking blonde, blue-eyed woman – all the more striking because natural blonds were so rare and her pale skin betrayed the naturalness of it – stood up from the bank of terminals, hand outstretched.

"Kahlee Sanders."

Shepard smiled, grasping her hand warmly.  "Graceyn Shepard."

Kahlee smiled genuinely despite the obvious strain she was under.  "Commander, it's a pleasure.  David – Admiral Anderson – speaks of you often, in the highest terms."

"Please, just Shepard…and the pleasure is all mine."

Kahlee turned to Kaidan, her brow furrowing slightly.  He reached out and shook her hand.  "Kaidan Alenko.  We met briefly several months ago on the Citadel."

Recognition bloomed in her eyes.  "Yes, I remember.  You worked closely with David when he was a Councilor, right?"

He nodded politely.  "Yes, ma'am."

Kahlee smiled warmly at them both, head dipping in appreciation.  "Please, just Kahlee."  Then a cloud passed across her eyes, and Shepard turned professional.

"We know it's Cerberus attacking.  What's the situation?"

Kahlee turned to the security panels, pulling up several camera feeds. "There are only a small number of students remaining here, thankfully.  Most of them were evacuated when news of the Reaper invasion hit, but some insisted on remaining; they've been training nearly around-the-clock in anticipation of joining the fight.  They're cut off from us, stuck over in Orion Hall with one of our instructors."  She looked up, a calm but somehow desperate look on her face.  "Save them for me if you can."

Shepard nodded confidently.  "We will.  Stay here and talk me through the layout and we'll get them out, I promise."

Kahlee nodded, then looked up suddenly. "Shepard, you should know – "  Sirens suddenly blared, the sound bouncing off the walls.

Kahlee shouted over the siren's wail.  "Orion Hall is out the next door then to the left!"

"Got it."  They moved out, guns drawn.  As they neared the end of the hallway Kaidan glanced over at her.  "So, what did you think?"

She grinned.  "I think Anderson's way out of his league…"

Kaidan chuckled then followed her out the door, pushing a barrier out to cover them all as the bullets began flying.

They pushed Cerberus commandos down the next hallway and into a classroom.  Shepard rolled her eyes – stupid of them to let themselves get cornered like that.  Not so stupid that they didn't leave a proximity mine inside the door, of course; Kaidan picked up a crushed shield generator and tossed it through the doorway, turning away from the resulting explosion.

She blew a shockwave through the entrance to push back any remaining commandos then crouched low as Liara came up beside her and created a singularity at the outer edge of the shockwave.  They stepped in and carefully cleared the room.

There were no desks in the classroom.  There was a row of terminals along the front wall; the other three walls and the back half of the floor were lined with mats.  A mini-fridge sat in the corner, the glass door revealing it to be stocked full of energy drinks; a case of energy bars sat atop it.  Along the front wall above the terminals hung a poster:

"The Five Commandments of Biotics:

1. Always stay well-hydrated; eat early and often.

2. Defense before offense – protect yourself and others.

3. Understand your surroundings; check for civilians.

4. Know your strength; know your limit.

5. Use your power for good."

Kaidan stared up at the poster, finally huffing a quiet laugh before turning away.  She sidled up beside him.  "What?"

He smiled thoughtfully.  "I'll tell you later."

Liara looked around from the center of the room, puzzled.  "Strange…for Asari, biotics are simply part of who we are.  We are taught to use them, of course, but it is merely a natural part of our education.  It is not given any more special attention than history or mathematics."

Shepard nodded.  "Maybe one day it will be like that for us, but that day is a while off yet."  She jerked her head towards the door.  "Come on, let's move."

They vaulted over the broken window separating the halls…then ran straight into an electric barrier over the door to Orion Hall.

"EDI, you're up."

"Of course, Shepard."  She walked up to the field blocking the door and placed her palm firmly in the middle of it.  Orange streams of electricity shot out of her fingertips; the field shimmered and crackled, sparks flying out, then vanished in an expanding circle from her palm.

Shepard patted EDI on the shoulder on the way through the now open doorway.  "That was just cool."

EDI's head tilted to the side.  "I am glad you approve."

Shepard quickly slid into cover as grenades flew from out of her field of vision into the large, open hall ahead of half a dozen Cerberus commandos.  

She lobbed a cluster grenade then pulled up her rifle and sighted down on the lead commando; just as she pulled the trigger, a massive shockwave sent the entire Cerberus squad flying ten meters through the air, slamming them against the back wall.  From the far left stairwell came a brilliant blue barrier – another team of commandos rushed through the door, only to be thrown down the stairs by the person behind the barrier, which didn't even waver.  A loud voice could be heard as the person rapidly moved down the stairs.  "Samuels, get your ass back upstairs!  Rodriguez, your barrier isn't strong enough, I can tell from here!"

Shepard's eyes slowly widened at the sound of the voice that came with the incredibly powerful biotic.  She stood up from cover and stepped out to get a better look.  "Oh dear god…"

Kaidan came up beside her, figuring she wouldn't be standing out in the open if she didn't have a good reason.  "What is it?"

"It's Jack."

He looked over at her in puzzlement.  "Jack?"  His eyes narrowed.  "Not 'Jack' as in your Collector crew 'Jack'?"

"Yup."

He slowly nodded.  "This should be…interesting."

"Yup."

Jack reached the bottom of the stairs then did something they didn't even have a name for with a targeted bolt of biotics – it hit the last commando in the chest and slung him tumbling down the stairs.  Only then did she look over at the four bystanders by the door.

"Shepard?"  Her barrier dropped immediately as she stomped over to them.  "I warned you about fucking Cerberus!"  When she reached Shepard her arm suddenly pulled back.  Shepard just stood there calmly; at the last second she raised her forearm and blocked the incoming punch.

"You'll never be too fast for me, Jack, you should know that by now."

Jack scowled.  "Yeah, fuck you too, Shepard."

They stared at each other for a long moment before Jack's eyes cut briefly over to Kaidan.  "Got your boy-toy back, I see."  Shepard merely raised an eyebrow in response.

Finally Jack rolled her eyes dramatically.  "Fine, whatever.  Come on, I'll introduce you to my students."

Shepard's arms crossed over her chest as she leaned back.  "Your students?"

Jack was already walking away; she didn't stop or turn around, merely yelling over her shoulder.  "Yes, I'm a teacher.  Don't get your panties in a twist, Shepard.  Now are you coming or what?"

Shepard let out a long breath, gesturing forward as she looked sideways at Kaidan before heading up the stairs.  "That's Jack."  

What she found in the control room upstairs was Jack…teaching.  Teaching teenagers, who were…listening.  Her demeanor was still brash and outlandish, but the undertone in her voice wasn't biting or hateful; it was caring and…sweet.

I'll be damned.

"Everybody – Commander Shepard and friends.  Shepard – everybody.  There, introductions done.  Guys, finish those energy drinks and take a breath.  We move in three."  Jack spun around.  "Okay, Shepard.  How do you plan to get us past your old friends?"

Shepard's expression darkened.  "For the hundredth time Jack, they were never my – "

Jack grinned mischievously.  "I know…I just like watching you fume."

"Uh-huh.  We just need to hack the doors downstairs and get to the shuttles."

"What, through the Atrium?"

She shrugged.  "You tell me, Jack.  I'm just a visitor, you're the one that works here…"  She shook her head slowly, still hardly believing it.

Jack nodded thoughtfully, wandering away from the students and over to the balcony.  "Yeah, that makes sense, we can get through there – "  She looked over at Shepard suddenly.  "Is Kahlee alright?"

Shepard nodded and joined her at the balcony.  "She's fine; she's going a back way to meet us at the shuttles."

Jack smiled.  "Good.  Can't leave her here."

Shepard rested her forearms on the ledge, leaning forward casually.  "Jack, does Kahlee know about your past?"

Jack hopped up on the ledge, legs swinging freely.  "Sure…mostly.  I might have left out one or two details.  But she's cool, Shepard.  Believes in giving someone a fair chance."  Her eyes narrowed slightly, belying the twinkle in them.  "Kind of like you.  Maybe.  A little."

Shepard nodded slowly, smiling genuinely.  "I'm glad.  I have to say, it looks like you're doing good work here."

Jack fidgeted then hopped back down from the ledge, turning and leaning against it alongside Shepard.  "I thought maybe I shouldn't throw away the chance you gave me, try out the straight and narrow for a while.  Turns out I can do some good…make sure these kids learn better lessons than I did."

Shepard grinned over at her.  "Are you going to try to hit me again if I tell you I'm proud of you?"

Jack scowled.  "Definitely."

Shepard chuckled and pushed off the ledge.  "Alright, I'll keep it to myself then.  Come on, we had better head out."

Jack fell in beside her as they walked back into the control room.  "So I recognize your boy-toy and the uptight blue chic, but who's the synthetic?"

"His name's Kaidan, her name's Liara, and that's…EDI."

"You're shitting me."

"Nope.  It's a long story."

"I'm sure…"  Her voice raised a notch.  "Hey EDI, you got any of Joker's extranet downloads on you?  I need some new smut to pass the long nights with."

EDI turned around and smiled.  "Just a moment…yes, I'm transferring them to your Omni-tool now.  It is good to see you again, Jack."

Jack's Omni-tool flickered as her eyes widened briefly.  "…thanks, EDI.  Good to see you too…"  She turned slightly towards Shepard and muttered under her breath.  "Wow.  You've got your hands full, don't you?"

"You have no idea."

Jack stepped forward, her demeanor instantly transforming from casual ease to hard-ass drill sergeant.  "Alright kiddies, listen up…"

Shepard stepped away and touched her comm.  "Kahlee, everyone's okay here and we're ready to move out."

"That's wonderful news, thank you, Comm– Shepard.  I'm making my way through the service corridors, no sign of Cerberus so far."

"Good.  Oh, and Kaylee, I don't think we've known each other nearly long enough for you to be leaving surprises for me like that."

There was a pause, then a slight chuckle over the comm.  "You mean Jack."

"Yes I do."

"Sorry about that.  I was about to tell you when the sirens went off, I promise."

"Sure you were.  For what it's worth…she looks good, no doubt thanks to you."

"And you, Shepard.  See you at the shuttles."

She nodded for them to move out.  Jack grabbed a backpack from the corner, starting to sling it over her shoulder when it fell open, spilling several items onto the floor.  Shepard was already headed out the door when she glanced down, catching a glimpse of several miniature ships and a…teddy bear.

Her eyes slowly raised to Jack, crouched on the floor stuffing everything back into the pack.  Jack quickly zipped it up and stood, looking over at Shepard as she did.

"What?"

"You…you have a teddy bear…"

Jack shrugged slightly.  "Yeah, so?"

A grin spread across Shepard's face, eyes lighting up in amusement.  "It's a teddy bear."

Jack's eyes narrowed defiantly.  "And it's mine.  Deal with it."  She turned and stomped through the door, chin held high.  Shepard stood another moment, watching Jack adjust the backpack as she jogged down the hallway.

I'll be damned.

By the time she met up with everyone downstairs, Kaidan had the door hacked.  They were stepping through the doorway when a calm, measured voice boomed from the overhead speakers.

"Students of Grissom Academy, the station is sealed.  The Alliance soldiers cannot save you; all they can do is get you killed.  Surrender now and you will not be harmed."

The young brunette student glanced around nervously.  "What if they're telling the truth and won't hurt us?  Maybe we should at least listen?"

Shepard spun around, eyes flaring brightly.  "You want to listen?  Then listen to me, very carefully.  Cerberus projects an innocent image with a tantalizing message.  But make no mistake – they are killers through and through.  If you aren't useful to them they'll kill you now.  If you are useful to them, they'll invite you in, stick a control chip in your head and Reaper tech in your veins, then send you back out to die for their cause.  If you're lucky, you'll die before the Reaper tech indoctrinates you and turns you against your friends and family.  If you have second thoughts about your choice, that control chip will fire and steal your free will from you.  One way or the other, in the end you'll just die.  Don't you dare listen to them.  Stand and fight them."

The students' heads nodded quickly in unison, their eyes wide.  Her expression relaxed and she smiled gently.  "Good for you."

Kaidan came up beside her as they headed through the door, leaning in close to her ear.  "That might have been a little much, Shepard."

She looked over and met his eyes for a moment, then nodded tightly.  "Maybe.  But if it keeps them alive and on our side…"  She tapped the door at the end of the hallway open and stepped into the Atrium.

"Damn."  He rejoined her, gazing around at the view.  The Atrium was a beautiful multi-leveled garden, filled with greenery and flowers and stone benches in quiet alcoves.

And Cerberus commandos.

And two Atlas mechs.

Shepard sighed dramatically.  "A shame.  It was a nice garden."  Her eyes narrowed determinedly on the nearest Atlas.  "Let's get to work."

***

"The square root of 906.01 is – "

"30.1."  The young man looked up from his crouched position, and as he met her eyes –

– the walls, the ceiling, the floor were electricity, a perfect grid of light and power, pulses racing along in intricate patterns.  Her brain tingled and twitched as she watched the pulses flow, and understood –

She felt Kaidan's hand on her elbow, steadying her as she fell against him.  "Shepard!  Are you okay?"

She blinked, and the grid was gone.  Everything was normal.  She stared at David Archer as he stood.  "Yeah…I'm okay…"

"Commander Shepard.  I remember you.  You helped me.  You made it quiet."

Did I?  She took a deep breath, pushing the vision away, and smiled.  "David, it's good to see you again.  You look well."

He nodded slowly.  "Yes.  They are good to me here."

"I'm glad."  She looked around at the other students.  "We're headed for the shuttles to get you guys out of here.  Come with us."

As they ushered the students down the hall, Kaidan fell in beside her. His voice was low.  "Shepard, what was that?  Are you really okay?"

She smiled absently.  "I'm fine.  That was…that was just a memory."

***

The hologram of Anderson flickered to life, and she smiled at him.  "Good to see you still alive and kicking, Anderson."

He nodded wearily.  "Me too.  What's the news out there?"

"Short version – nothing new on the Reapers other than more destruction; the Crucible Project is picking up steam; Cerberus is fucking everywhere."

"Goddamn Illusive Man, doesn't he know he's just making things easier for the Reapers?"

She gazed at him speculatively.  "Yes, I believe he does.  But enough about all that – I have a surprise for you that I think might brighten your day."

He scowled.  "A surprise?"

She grinned mischievously.  "Excuse me just a minute – stay on the line."

She stepped into the War Room – now brightly-lit after the last trip to the Citadel – and over to Kaylee, leaning against the circular command center chatting with Kaidan.  "You can go talk to him now.  Take as long as you like; just hit 'disconnect' when you're done."

Kahlee smiled brightly, clasping Shepard's hands in hers.  "Thank you so much, I can't tell you how much this means to me."

Shepard returned the smile.  "Glad to do it."

As Kahlee walked into the Comm Room Shepard leaned back against the command center next to Kaidan.  He looked over at her, a bemused grin on his face.

"I had no idea you were such a romantic."

She rolled her eyes at him.  "I'm just intrigued by the idea of Anderson being in love; it's just so…cute!"

He laughed heartily, pushing off the table and grabbing her hand.  "Never say 'Anderson' and 'cute' in the same sentence again, please.  Come on – it's late and we still have work to do."

***

Shepard threw the datapad on the table and sank back against Kaidan on the couch, sighing tiredly.  "What are the Quarians doing in Geth space?  I don't like it."

He reached over and set his own datapad more carefully down on the table.  "The Migrant Fleet's activities have actually become increasingly mysterious over the last several months…but I'm sure they have a good reason."

She grumbled.  "I'm not."

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer against him, kissing the top of her head.  "Regardless, we'll find out soon enough."

They lay there quietly for several minutes, slowly letting the stress of the day seep away…but she could hear him thinking, feel that complicated brain running around in circles.  She smiled to herself.  "Whatcha thinking about?"

He chuckled tiredly, realizing she was on to him.  "I just have to wonder what my life would have been like if someplace like Grissom Academy had existed when I was a teenager.  If I had never gone to BAaT, but instead to someplace where they nurtured the biotic students.  Someplace welcoming and comfortable, where you weren't made to feel like a freak.  Someplace where I wouldn't have killed an instructor."

She had thought the school looked interesting as well; it would have been refreshing to learn in such an environment.  She hadn't even known she was biotic until the attack on Mindoir; she had been nearly seventeen before being fitted with an implant.  They had instructed her on using biotics at the Academy but, it still being the early days of human biotics, the lessons had been fairly rudimentary.  She had read materials on the subject in her spare time, sought out others who could teach her, and practiced.  Like so many things for her, once she understood how they worked, biotics had come naturally.  But at the end of the day, they were just a tool for her, another weapon in her arsenal.  

Kaidan, on the other hand…between losing control with Vyrnnus and having to live with the stress of the L2 implant, biotics were a much more complex and personal matter for him.

She brought his hand to her lips and kissed the knuckles softly.  "I wish you had had an easier time of it; you didn't deserve what happened to you.  But I think maybe you wouldn't be the man you are today if it hadn't.  You might not have the inner strength, the unbelievable self-control…you might not have the perspective on life you do."

He was silent for a moment.  Finally he exhaled slowly, relaxing into the couch.  "Yeah.  You're probably right.  Our trials make us who we are.  Still…would have been a hell of a lot less angsty and more fun."

She smiled and snuggled back against him.  Her eyes were starting to close when he suddenly sat up straighter.  "Oh, I can't believe I forgot to ask you – did Thane make it through the coup attempt okay?  The last time I saw him he was headed to C-Sec."

She shook her head sadly against his chest.  "No.  Kai Leng got him.  He died, but not before saving Councilor Valern's life."

"Damn.  I'm sorry, Shepard.  He seemed like a good man."

She lifted her head and looked back at him curiously.  "I didn't realize you two had become friends."

"Eh, I wouldn't say 'friends', exactly; we only talked a few times.  But he was an interesting guy.  Anyway, I'm sorry."

She smiled thoughtfully.  "Thanks.  He was…content…in the end.  He had his son there with him, and a chance to say goodbye."

"And you?"

She raised an eyebrow idly.  "Hmm?"

"And he had you there, too?"

Her brow furrowed slightly.  "Oh…yes, I was there."

He smiled tenderly, reaching up and tucking stray strands of hair behind her ear.  "Good.  He loved you, you know."

She twisted fully around to stare at him incredulously.  "Why would you think that?"

"Because he told me."

Her eyes briefly grew a little wide before narrowing sharply at him.  "He told you."

He nodded.  "Yep.  I think he may have had an ulterior motive though, like forcing me to get my head screwed on straight.  He told me about the time he spent with you, some of the crazy-ass things you did…and the struggles you faced.  He told me about his name for you, and what it meant…that helped me to see some things more clearly."

She leaned in and kissed him softly.

He returned the kiss in full then pulled back slightly.  "And finally, he said that he loved you…but that you loved only me."  

She smiled, cupping his cheek in her palm.  "And so I do."

He kissed her again, long and slow, before she snuggled back down against his chest.

"So you never thought about it?"

She murmured into his shirt.  "Thought about what?"

"Being with him."

She lifted her head up and kissed the tip of his nose.  "No."

His eyes narrowed slightly.  "You sure?  He was quite a…seductive…man.  And he was there with you when you needed him."

She gazed at him intently, running fingertips along his jaw.  "You weren't there for the right reasons.  And you're here now."

He continued watching her.  "Still…"

She bit her lower lip and chuckled lightly.  "Okay – at some point I recognized that I could think about it."  She held his chin so he wouldn't look away.  "And I chose not to."

He smiled in relief.  He would have understood, it wouldn't have mattered, not really, but…

She held his eyes.  "I never wanted anyone but you, Kaidan.  It may have taken me a little while to figure that out, and a while longer to admit it – I can be stubborn that way – but you always had me."

The look in his eyes nearly took her breath away.  "I would have waited forever for you."

Her lips lightly grazed his before her forehead dropped to rest against his.  "Now you don't have to."