If It Meant Living-61: Inflection Point

If It Meant Living - Chapter 61
"Inflection Point"

Title: If It Meant Living – Chapter 61:  "Inflection Point"
Author: Graceyn
Game: Mass Effect/Mass Effect 2/Mass Effect 3
Characters/pairing: femShep/Kaidan
Disclaimer: Bioware owns all rights to Mass Effect and its characters
Content Warning: Violence, Language

---

Inflection point (n.):  1. In mathematics, a point on a curve at which a change in the direction of curvature occurs.  2. A time of significant change in a situation; a turning point.

Shepard frowned at the image of the Reaper base rotating above the command center.  "So the Reaper signal is coming from beneath the base, protected by these blast doors…do you know how it's being sent?  Do they have another platform chained up down there?"

"We cannot determine the precise nature of the source, Shepard-Commander – only its location."

She sighed.  "Okay.  We'll find out when we get there, won't be the first time.  Are you clear on the plan?"

"Yes.  We do not anticipate insurmountable difficulties."

She laughed aloud.  "That's a very good way to put it; I'm going to have to remember that."

The door to the War Room opened and a rather worn-looking Admiral Koris entered.  She walked over and extended a hand.  "Admiral, glad to see you made it off Rannoch in one piece."

He shook his head wearily.  "I owe it all to a team of very brave soldiers; several of them gave their lives so that I could be rescued.  I can only hope to make their sacrifice count."

Tali turned suddenly from the terminal she was working at.  "Did…did Kal'Reegar…make it?"

"Yes, ma'am."  Reegar walked through the door and down the steps.  

Tali made a sound that sounded a lot like a squeal of delight and ran over to him…then suddenly stopped a meter away, standing straight and clearing her throat.  "Lieutenant Reegar, I'm pleased you were able to rescue Admiral Koris.  Thank you for your service."

"Just doing my job, ma'am."

"Yes, well…good…I should…"

Shepard grinned.  "Tali, perhaps Lieutenant Reegar would be interested in a tour of the Normandy…the armory, engineering…maybe the break room as well.  Just be ready to head out for the Reaper base in about two hours."

Tali nodded quickly.  "Yes, of course.  Lieutenant, please follow me."

Shepard barely caught what Reegar muttered under his breath as he turned to follow Tali.  "Anywhere you lead, ma'am."

She smiled to herself then turned to Koris.  "Admiral, you can use the communication system here to talk with your civilian fleet as much as you need.  Admirals Raan and Xen are in a meeting at the moment but should return shortly.  Our plan is to destroy this base the Reapers have built on Rannoch later today, thus freeing the Geth from Reaper contr– "

"Oh my…that's a…"

She glanced over her shoulder.  "A Geth.  I'm sorry, I should have introduced you.  Admiral Koris, this is Legion.  He helped me stop the Collectors and is assisting us in this mission as well."

Koris slowly approached Legion.  "That's…remarkable.  Legion, it is a pleasure to meet you.  I must apologize to you for this unfortunate war; know that many Quarians did not wish it."

"Thank you, Creator-Koris.  Your words are appreciated."  Legion extended his hand, and Koris stared at it for a moment before grasping it gently.

Her mouth dropped open.  She remembered when she had first activated Legion; she had extended a hand to him, and he had stared at it like it was some foreign, disease-bearing monster.  Now here he was, initiating a very much organic gesture of welcome to someone he should consider an enemy.

Wonders never ceased onboard the Normandy, it seemed.

She cleared her throat.  "If you'll excuse me, I need to begin seeing to the preparations for the raid."

"Of course, Commander."  Koris approached the command center then paused.  "Where is Admiral Gerrel?"

She stopped at the door.  "Admiral Gerrel is no longer welcome on my ship."

He nodded.  "I see.  Deserved, no doubt."

"Quite."  

She took the elevator to the crew deck; she came around the corner to find Garrus and Kaidan eating lunch at the mess table.  She breathed a sigh of relief that, as promised, they seemed to have resolved whatever the issue had been between them.  They hadn't noticed her presence yet; she leaned quietly against the wall and watched them.

Garrus chewed on a piece of…she thought it was the dextro version of bread.  "Believe me, I'm mostly right there with you.  But…are we both being hypocritical here?  Don't you think of EDI as alive?"

Kaidan took a bite of eggs…had she forgotten that every now and then he liked to eat breakfast for lunch?  "It's not the same thing."

Garrus frowned.  "Isn't it?"

Kaidan shook his head and set down his fork.  "No.  See, EDI was built from the ground up to be an AI.  As such, she was programmed with the full set of knowledge, decision-making algorithms and frames of reference needed to, well, live.  Even Cerberus would have needed her to think and act properly.  The Geth, though, they were designed as limited-function VIs, built for the specific purpose of manual labor.  Whatever wasn't required for them to do that job simply wasn't included in their programming."

"Okay, but they did become self-aware…"

Kaidan nodded.  "Yes, their networked intelligence eventually grew powerful enough that they became sentient.  But it has to be a limited sentience, within the narrow scope of their programming.  They're still missing huge components of knowledge, ethical frameworks and understanding that simply must exist to truly be a living being and not just a software program."

Garrus leaned back in the chair, nibbling idly on his bread-like substance.  "Hmm.  That makes sense.  On the other hand though, maybe they've been filling those gaps, writing new code for themselves.  They had to have been doing something out here beyond the Perseus Veil for the last three hundred years, right?"

Kaidan frowned.  "I suppose that's possible…but where would they learn it in the first place?  It's a circular problem."

"Maybe you could ask Legion?"

Kaidan thought on it as he chewed another bite of eggs.  "Maybe…"

Garrus stood up, plate in hand.  "On second thought…scratch that.  Talking to Legion would drive you insane in five minutes flat."

Kaidan raised an eyebrow.  "Why don't you ask it then?"

Garrus  shook his head vigorously.  "Because talking to Legion drives me insane in five minutes flat."

Shepard sighed quietly.  She knew she needed to talk with Kaidan about Legion, about the Geth, about everything – but that conversation looked like it would take far longer than she had right now.  Later.  She turned back the other way and went to visit Liara.

***

As the shuttle exited the Normandy and headed towards the planet's surface, Shepard stepped out of the cockpit, grabbing ahold of the doorframe.

"Okay, here's the situation.  The Reaper signal is coming from a large underground structure directly beneath the base.  This – " she lifted an enormous yet sleek weapon off her back " – is a lovely gift from the Quarians.  It's a precision targeting laser that has been synced with the Normandy's weapon system.  I paint a target with it, and the Normandy can hit it with less than two meters of error."

James whistled.  "Damn, that's sweet."

She grinned.  "It is.  Unfortunately, the underground structure is currently protected by massive blast doors more than four meters thick.  So Legion is going to hack the security system and get the blast doors open.  Garrus, James, you're with him – keep his brethren off him while he works.  Tali, Kaidan, Liara, you're with me – we're going to fight our way through the base.  We've identified a high vantage-point from the scans that should provide a direct, and thus targetable, line-of-sight to whatever is beneath those blast doors."

Tali cleared her throat.  "Commander, are you sure I shouldn't go with the others?  Legion may need help hacking the security – it will be extremely strong, and probably backed up by several redundancies."

"Thank you, Creator-Zorah, but we will not require assistance."

"Legion, I know you're very skilled, but – "

Shepard looked over and met Legion's gaze.  "Legion still possesses the Reaper upgrade code.  He'll be able to hack through anything they've put in place."

"What?" rang out from pretty much everyone in the shuttle.

"Do not be concerned, Creator-Zorah.  Only the Reaper signal can control the Geth, and we have isolated ourselves from it.  The upgrade code is simply designed to increase our capabilities."

Garrus frowned.  "But Shepard…it's Reaper code."

She raised an eyebrow.  "EDI has Reaper code in her, or did you forget that?"

"No, but…"

"It's just lines of code; it doesn't make value judgments."  She looked back over Legion, smiling ever so slightly.  "Only the entity possessing it can do that."

Cortez glanced over his shoulder from the cockpit.  "We're approaching the landing area, Commander."

"Okay.  Cortez, after you drop us off, pull back to a safe distance.  If all goes as planned, we won't be in a hurry to leave when we're done.  If it doesn't, we'll do what we always do – we'll improvise."

The landing zone was a sheltered inlet, safely around the corner and out of sight of the base.  As the shuttle settled down, Shepard turned behind her.  "Tali, I think you should go first."

Tali nodded and came forward, slowly taking a step out of the shuttle and onto the soil of Rannoch.  She wandered several meters away, gazing around her in wonder.  Shepard smiled and walked up beside her.

"I did it, Shepard…I'm actually standing on the homeworld…"  She knelt down and picked up some dirt, watching as it sifted through her fingers.  "It's real…"

Shepard looked around appreciatively.  "It's also gorgeous.  Why didn't you tell me Rannoch was a paradise?"

Tali shook her head slowly.  "I didn't know…"  She stood back up.  "But it is, isn't it?  Paradise."

Shepard nodded.  "Or it will be anyway, just as soon as we get rid of a small Reaper infestation problem."

"Right.  I'm ready; I can sight-see when this is done."

"Okay everyone, let's move out.  Legion, good luck."

"Thank you, Shepard-Commander."

The Geth defenders were onto them almost as soon as they stepped around the corner, and from then on there was no time or space to debate or even think about grand philosophical questions like 'what does it mean to be alive?'.  They drew the Geth's fire and attention in order to allow Legion, Garrus and James to slip down and through the back, then hurried up ladders and over pipes, winding their way up the outside of the structure.

"Liara, look out!"  Liara spun around to find a Geth emerging from around the corner.  She instantly threw a stasis on it; it froze inches from her.  She tilted her head slightly at it, eyes narrowing in curiosity, before her palm pushed gently forward and threw it off the walkway.

Shepard smiled in amusement before vaulting over a ledge and leaping onto the grate catwalk above.  "Come on, I think there might actually be a door ahead."

They had just made it inside when Legion came over her comm.  "Shepard-Commander, we have successfully bypassed the security protocols; the blast doors are in the process of opening.  Be advised that this action will draw additional attention to our presence."

"Right.  Hang tight for now.  We're almost there, we just need…"  She looked down the long, open room.  "…an elevator.  Excellent."

As the elevator began rising, Liara glanced over at her.  "You know, this has actually been easier than I was expecting.  I anticipated much more resist– "  The elevator doors opened to a spray of turret fire.

"Crap!"  Kaidan threw out a wide barrier over them as they dove for cover.  "Tali, get drones on those turrets!"

"On it."  Tali's fingers moved rapidly over her Omni-tool, then she peeked over the low wall for the locations of the turrets and started sending out drones.

Shepard exhaled, leaning against a crate.  The drones should take care of the turrets in fairly short order, then they could –

The crate vibrated as thunderous footsteps approached.  She edged around the corner and took a quick look.  One, two…three Geth Primes appeared from a hallway on the opposite side of the room.

"Fuck…me!"  She groaned then spun around.  "Liara, you just had to jinx it!  Tali, get those turrets down – we have to be able to move around in here.  Kaidan, you've got to overload their shields; we won't be able to touch them until those shields are stripped.  Liara, you're with me."

She started scampering low behind cover towards the other side of the room.  Liara whispered behind her, "Shepard, where are we going?"

"We're going to draw them to the ledge."

Liara's eyes quickly scanned the layout.  "Got it."

Kaidan shouted over the gunfire, "Leftmost shields down!"  Shepard immediately stood up and threw the left Prime, sending it thudding across the floor about ten meters towards the open ledge.

In the physics of biotics, it shouldn't matter how heavy an object was; other than needing to create a large enough field, it shouldn't matter how large an object was.  After all, you were manipulating the mass of the space around the object, and in some cases within the object, but you were always manipulating the same type of space.  Atoms.

All that being said, Geth Primes were a fucking bitch to kill.

The Prime struggled to its feet and turned to them.  Liara stood and began pulling her arm up when turret fire swept across them, sending her sprawling to the floor.

"Tali!" Shepard shouted into her comm.

"Five more seconds!" came the breathless response.

The Prime approached them deliberately, sweeping its gun as it searched for a target.

"Clear!"

Liara again stood, raising her palm vertically, and the Prime lifted into the air.  Shepard sighted her sniper rifle on the light shining from its flashlight-head, and fired a single shot.  The momentum from the bullet sent the Prime tumbling backwards in a spin.  By the time the lift collapsed, it had spun out over open air and dropped like a rock to the ground thirty meters below.

"Leftmost shields down!"

Shepard exhaled quickly and looked over at Liara.  "Again?"

Liara nodded tightly.  "Again."

A few minutes later they regrouped at the far edge of the room, near the ledge.  "Amazing job, guys."  She gazed out at the view, smiling.  "Tali, it truly is beautiful here.  I think if I were Quarian and had known what it was like, I probably would have done everything in my power to get it back."

Tali smiled gratefully.  "Thank you, Shepard."

She nodded.  "Okay.  Showtime."  She walked out to the ledge, hitting her comm.  "Normandy, target is ready to be painted.  Are you a go for the strike?"

EDI responded.  "Affirmative.  We have your coordinates and are locked to the targeting laser."

"Understood."  She unclipped the laser from her back and powered it up, fondling it in her hands while it charged.  Then she stood on the edge and stared into the shadowed pit below.  She could discern nothing of its contents, so simply pointed the laser in the center and painted the target.  The HUD displayed a grid which rapidly shrunk to a single point.  The laser emitted a high-pitched tone; seconds later the Normandy swooped into view across the skyline.

"Firing."  A missile sped from the Normandy as it banked away.

Shepard grinned.  "Okay that was just cool as hell – "

– flame and smoke erupted from the pit as the floor pitched and came apart beneath their feet.  She instinctively pulled her limbs inward into a ball and relaxed her muscles as she fell…but the ground still hurt like a motherfucker when she slammed into it.  She got her feet underneath her and stood, squinting through the smoke billowing out, when suddenly a deep, teeth-rattling growl roared up from the pit.  

There was only one thing in the world that made such a sound, one that scraped and clawed its way through your brain like nails on a chalkboard…what did that saying even mean, anyway?  What the hell was a chalkboard and how could it create a noise so horrifying as this –

– the Reaper flew up out of the pit, its limbs immediately grasping out for solid ground.

They ran.

"Shepard-Commander, we have acquired transportation."

"I love you, Legion!"

"Shepard-Commander, we do not – "

"Later – just get here."

Through the smoky haze a Geth hover vehicle swung into view ahead.  "As requested."

The Reaper screamed as it found its footing and turned towards them.

She reached the hovercraft and sprinted around to the other side as the rest of them scrambled inside; she leapt up and grabbed ahold of the interior rim, feet swinging freely.  "Go!"

Legion spun the vehicle around, nearly throwing her off.  Kaidan and Liara each grabbed a wrist, holding her until it regained a straight trajectory then quickly pulling her in.  Her feet had barely hit the floor when she was scrambling up into the mounted gun, swinging it around to the Reaper as it charged them, hitting her comm with a spare pinky.

"Shepard to Fleet – it's not a Reaper base, it's a live Reaper!  I need an orbital strike, now!"  She fired the heavy-repeating gun at it as they sped away…but the bullets plinged off its outer shell like pebbles thrown from a sling-shot.

It had almost caught them, a pincer-like limb reaching up and out to swipe them away, when the first missile hit it.  It flinched, slowing, as more missiles made impact.  As it flailed upwards, a missile grazed the corner of the blood-red eye from which its deadly beam came; it let out a high-pitched shriek, convulsing to a stop.

She immediately shouted into her comm.  "Target its eye!"

EDI responded.  "We cannot reach that level of accuracy from this distance, Shepard."

For half a second she watched the Reaper struggle to re-find its feet.  "Legion, slow down a minute."  

As soon as the vehicle had slowed to a reasonable speed she leapt off it, rolling once then up onto her feet, immediately running back towards the Reaper, wrenching the targeting laser off her back.  "Legion, get to a safe distance!"

She could hear Kaidan over the open comm.  "Shepard, what  – Legion, stop!  What are you doing?!"

"As Shepard-Commander instructed."

There was silence for a moment, then he whispered to her over their private channel.  "Shepard, don't…"

"I have to.  If we run away, the Geth stay under Reaper control and the Quarians are dead.  This has to end now."  She opened up the broadcast channel as she ran.  "EDI, patch the Quarians to the Normandy's weapon system – I want the targeting laser synced up to the whole goddamn Fleet!"

"Understood."

She skidded to a stop on the ledge overlooking where the Reaper had fallen.  It was injured but nowhere near dead, struggling to a wobbly standing position.  She pulled up the laser and aimed, but the eye was closed shut…

…she was going to have to get it to shoot at her.

Lovely.

"Hey, you!  You goddamn ugly-ass, douchebag, motherfucking thundercunt – over here!"  She nearly doubled over in desperate laughter at herself, at the absurdity of yelling profanities learned in the trenches of boot camp in order to attract the attention of a fucking Reaper that stood less than a hundred meters from her as she, well, stood.  Nowhere to hide, no vehicle to speed her away to safety.  She was a damn fast runner but she knew that, much like fate, she wouldn't be able to outrun a Reaper.

Its gaze settled on her, its eye opened, and she aimed.  The target lock that had earlier seemed to happen almost instantaneously now shrunk agonizingly slowly.  As the Reaper's beamed fired and cut through the ground towards her, she suddenly realized – she might not be able to outrun it, but she could dodge it.  She held the gun steady until the last possible second, then pushed off with her calves and dove sideways, tumbling roughly as dirt and rock exploded behind her.

She was on her feet in an instant, arms up, gun aimed.  Come on…just one more second…  She swore as she dove away from the beam again.  The ledge was rapidly crumbling from the beam; there wasn't much solid ground left to stand on.

One more time.  "Smile, you son of a bitch."

She aimed, the eye glowed red, the holographic grid shrunk to a single point, the laser sang, and fire engulfed the Reaper as dozens – perhaps hundreds – of missiles crashed into it.

It flailed and wrenched and screamed such as she had never heard – she clasped her hands over her ears in pain – and nearly stood tall once, twice, then at last crashed to the ground, an earthquake reverberating out from it.

She exhaled harshly as the adrenaline rush flooded through her.  Goddammit if she wasn't alive.  Again.  If she could bottle up the charmed providence that somehow kept her alive through the most insane of situations, she could sell it and retire to her own private island, dragging Kaidan along with her to a life of luxury and decadence.  When this war was over she would need to look into that…

She turned to trek back towards the hovercraft when a deep voice vibrated across her skin.

"Shepard…"

She whirled around to find the eye of the Reaper open and staring at her.  It was crashed sideways into the ground, there was no red halo, no beam; it was surely crippled and dying.  But not dead.  Not yet.

Okay.

She settled back, crossing her arms across her chest.  "You know who I am."

"Harbinger speaks of you.  You resist."

"Damn right I do."

"You will fail.  The cycle must continue."

"Like hell it must.  We stopped Sovereign and Saren.  We stopped Harbinger and the Collectors.  We will stop you and your senseless cycle once and for all."

"No.  You represent chaos; we represent order.  Every organic civilization must be harvested in order to bring order to the chaos.  It is inevitable.  Without our intervention, organics are doomed.  We are your salvation."

"You're killing everyone in the galaxy to save us?"  She threw her hands up in the air in exasperation.  "You know what?  I'm done.  I didn't get anything from talking to Sovereign, I didn't get anything from talking to Harbinger – I'm sure as hell not going to get anything from talking to some no-name junior lackey Reaper."  She turned and started walking away.

"Organics and synthetics cannot co-exist.  It is chaos.  The battle for Rannoch proves this.  The cycle must continue…"

She didn't turn around; she just kept walking away.  But under her breath she muttered, "That battle's not over, not yet."

She heard the Reaper collapse into the ground, and there was silence.  

She smirked as the hovercraft sped into view, everyone leaping out as soon as it slowed.  She spread her arms out wide and shrugged her shoulders.  "What can I say?  I'm two-for-two – well, actually, three-for-three…"

Tali ran forward to stare at the Reaper corpse.  "You did it – you really did it!"

Liara shook her head slowly, smiling in spite of herself.  "One of these days they'll stop underestimating you, Shepard.  I'm glad it wasn't today."

She expected Kaidan to run up, grab her around the waist, and twirl her around in delight…but he didn't.  Instead he stopped mere centimeters away from her, staring at her with troubled, clouded eyes.  "That was reckless."

She met his stare.  "That was necessary."

"We could have helped."

"How?  There's only one targeting laser."

"We could have drawn its fire away from you."

"No need.  I was fast enough."

"You always are, aren't you?"  He shook his head and turned away.

No.  Not always.  She sighed and turned away.  She walked slowly towards Tali, standing on the outcropping of the ledge.  

Legion came up behind them.  "We can confirm that the Geth are no longer being directed by the Old Machines."  He paused, his voice almost reverential.  "We are free."

She smiled at him.  "I'm gla– "

Her comm erupted in sound, dominated by the thoroughly annoying voice of Admiral Gerrel.  He sounded…smug.  She scowled.  "The Geth fleet has stopped attacking – they're completely vulnerable!  Heavy fleet, commence firing."

Legion clicked and whirred rapidly.  "Shepard-Commander, the Geth only acted in self-defense after the Creators acted us.  Do we deserve death for this?"

"No, you don't.  Tali, order them to stop firing.  Legion, what can you do?"

"The upgrades.  With the Old Machine dead, we could upload them to all Geth without sacrificing our independence."

Tali spun around.  "What?  You want to upload the Reaper code?  But that would make the Geth as smart as when the Reaper was controlling them!"

Legion turned to Tali.  "Yes, but with free will.  Each Geth unit would be a true intelligence.  Creator-Zorah, we would be alive."  

Tali paced anxiously.  "But our fleet is already attacking!  Uploading the code would destroy us!  Shepard, you can't choose the Geth over my people!"

"I'm choosing you both.  Tali, order them to stop firing."

"Creator-Zorah, do you remember the question that caused the Creators to attack us in the Morning War?"

Tali stared at Legion, her voice soft.  "Does this unit have a soul?"

Shepard watched the two of them for a split-second.  "Legion, upload the code.  Tali, order them to stop firing!"

"Uploading…10%."

Tali shook her head roughly then hit her comm.  "This is Admiral Tali'Zorah, all units break off your attack immediately!"

Gerrel's grating voice pierced through.  "Belay that order – continue the attack!"

"20%."

Kaidan looked at her incomprehensibly and asked a question he seemed to be asking all too often these days.  "Shepard, what are you doing?"

Tali swung back to Legion.  "I beg you, Legion.  Do not do this…please."

Legion's head dipped slightly.  "We regret the deaths of the Creators that may result…but we see no alternative.  We also want to live."

Kaidan stepped in front of Legion.  "Shepard, you're serving the Quarians up on a platter to the Geth – stop this."

"40%."

She stared at him, then at Legion, then at Tali.  Her jaw twitched as her chin lifted higher.  "No.  Goddammit, nobody else is going to die today.  Legion, keep going."  She hit the general broadcast.  "All ships, this is Commander Shepard.  The Reaper is dead.  Stand down."

Tali's voice was quivering in panic.  "This is Admiral Tali'Zorah – Shepard speaks with my authority.  All fleets stand down!"

Gerrel shouted across the broadcast.  "Negative – we can win this war now, once and for all.  Keep firing!"

"60%."

Kaidan ran a hand roughly through his hair, pacing in agitation.  "Shepard, think!  They will kill the Quarians, every last one of them, if you don't stop this madness now!"

She whirled around fiercely, a faint blue glow surrounding her, biotics radiating freely.  Her voice was somewhere between a growl and a shout.  "MAJOR ALENKO!  Either order me to stand down or stay out of it!"

He stared at her, eyes wide and unblinking, jaw clenched so tightly it was surely about to shatter, for an infinite second…then spun around and stormed off to the edge, staring down at the dead Reaper as his fist clenched reflexively at his side.

She breathed out harshly then reactivated the broadcast channel.  "Listen to me – the Geth are about to return to full strength.  If you keep attacking they will wipe you out. Your entire history consists of you trying to destroy your own creation.  You forced them to rebel, you forced them to ally with the Reapers.  You are in the wrong, and I am done saving you from your own mistakes!"

"80%."

She squeezed her eyes shut.  "The Geth don't want to fight you.  If you can believe that for just one minute, no one else will die.  You have a choice.  Please.  Keelah se'lai…"

The silence dragged on for an eternity.  She threw her head back and glared at the stunning sunset sky.  Please…

The voice that spoke was so tempered that she couldn't believe it was Gerrel.  "All units…hold fire."

She exhaled slowly, whispering a prayer of thanks to Arashu or whomever else might be listening.  For just a moment the façade broke, and her expression was one of desperate relief and exhausted, spent weariness.  No one saw…no one except Kaidan, that is, but she didn't look over and thus didn't see.

She took a deep breath and turned back to Tali and Legion, smiling brilliantly, if a little wide-eyed.  "So that worked out…"

Legion turned to her slowly.  "Error; copying code is insufficient.  Direct personality dissemination required.  Shepard-Commander, I must go to them.  I am…I am sorry.  It is the only way."

She fought back the urge to scream or cry or fling herself to the ground and throw a temper tantrum.  Again?  Never victory without goddamn motherfucking sacrifice.  At the earliest available opportunity she was going to have a conversation with victory and its bosom-buddy sacrifice…

"Legion, you don't have to do this.  You've given enough.  You've won.  After all these years, you are finally free.  Free to live."

"I know, Shepard-Commander.  But all of us should be free, and alive.  I must do this."

Tali stepped closer, her voice shaky.  "Legion?  The answer to your question…is yes."

His head dipped to her.  "I know that now, Tali…but thank you.  I am grateful to have known you as a friend.  Keelah se'lai."  

He walked forward to the edge of the outcropping, stared out at the sunset over the water for a moment, then simply collapsed to the ground.

She closed her eyes and hung her head.  When she had stepped onto Eden Prime and shot her first Geth three years ago, she could never have imagined that the death of a Geth would one day cause not celebration, but sorrow.  She lifted her chin and walked over to Tali, wearing a bittersweet smile.  They stood in silence for a moment.

"He called himself 'I' in the end."

Shepard gazed at the empty shell crumpled on the ground in front of her.  "So he did."

She exhaled slowly.  "So what will your people do now?"

"I don't know.  We – "

"You are welcome to return to Rannoch, with us."

They both spun around in surprise…surprise that was only heightened by the sight of the Geth Prime standing before them.  In the distance at least a dozen Geth began to emerge along the ledge and the rim above it.

Shepard's eyes narrowed questioningly.  "Legion?"

"No.  I'm sorry, Commander. Legion sacrificed itself to give us all true intelligence.  It will be honored among us, and we will honor its promise. The Geth fleet will help you against the Reapers, and our engineers will help you build the Crucible."

Admiral Raan came over the comm…apparently Shepard had left the channel open.  "As will ours, Commander."

She dipped her head in appreciation.  "Thank you.  Thank all of you.  We haven't won this war yet, but with your help, we just may."

Tali had wandered off towards the edge of the outcropping quietly; after a moment Shepard followed her.  "Are you okay?  I know working with the Geth will be difficult, but – "

"I'm not staying.  I'm coming with you."

"Tali, you know I'd love to have you, but I totally understand why you would want to stay.  It's your homeworld, and it's yours, finally.  You have a house to build and a life to create with Kal."

Tali laughed gently, touched with sadness.  "He'll wait for me, I think.  I hope.  Any life we could build now would be a fantasy, a lie, so long as they Reapers are out there.  Sooner or later they'll come for Rannoch, they'll come for us all…unless you stop them.  I'd like to help you with that, Shepard, if you'll have me."

Shepard smiled broadly, shaking her head.  "Of course I'll have you."  She reached out and hugged Tali tightly.  "Though I may have to pry Engineer Adams from the ceiling after he bounces around in joy until he gets stuck up there…"

Tali giggled against her shoulder.  "I'm sure the Alliance has completely trashed that drive core and I'll have plenty of work to do…"  

She pulled back slightly, grasping Tali's shoulders at arms' length.  "He could come with us, you know…"

"Who…you mean Kal?  Oh but, I couldn't ask that of you…"

"Are you kidding?  He's a hell of a soldier, I'd be lucky to have him."

Tali appeared to brighten for a moment, then her shoulders sagged.  "No…he wouldn't come.  He wouldn't be content just being there with me when our people are in danger."

"I promise, I will give him plenty of opportunities to risk his life for a worthwhile cause.  Our mission is to save the galaxy, remember?"  She smiled tenderly.  "Just ask him, okay?"

Tali exhaled, long and slow, then nodded.  "Okay.  I will.  Thank you, Shepard."  She pulled away then, turning to gaze out at the rapidly darkening sky.  "It is beautiful, isn't it?"

"It's stunning."

Tali nodded.  "Yeah, it is…it will surely be years before we can live without our suits completely, but right now…right now I have this."  She reached up and unlatched her mask and pulled it away from her face.  She stared out the sky for a moment, breathed in deeply, then looked over her shoulder at Shepard, grinning with joy.

Shepard was speechless.  Tali was alien in a way that the greatest artists only dreamed of.  And she was gorgeous.

***

The celebrations were over; the adrenaline and post-victory highs had crashed, and the ship was growing quiet.

Kaidan stalked the hallways like a panther hunting his prey.  He had checked their quarters, the cockpit, the suddenly-empty War Room, the armory, Garrus' workroom, engineering, the bar…he stormed deliberately into the kitchen.  She was a biotic, she surely needed to eat after this day…but it was empty, a few discarded plates piled haphazardly in the sink.  He leaned against the counter, sighing deeply as he ran a hand raggedly through his hair.  The ship wasn't that big…

Where the hell was she?

Liara watched him from a table in the corner as she idly stirred her tea.  She saw the lines creasing at the corners of his eyes and the weariness pulling at their lids, willed open by the desperation in his irises.

"I believe she's in the gym."

He spun around in surprise; he hadn't even noticed her there.  He stared at her for a moment then blinked, shaking his head.  "No, I checked there earlier."

"You must have been just ahead of her then.  I'm fairly certain she's there now."  She didn't share the fact that she knew this because she had surreptitiously installed hidden cameras in every area of the Normandy…save Shepard's quarters because even she couldn't bring herself to commit that particular invasion of privacy.  It was, after all, merely a security measure in the event of an attack against her, or Shepard, or them all.

Kaidan bit his lower lip, then smiled gratefully at her.  "Thank you, Liara.  I need to…"

She nodded, and he turned and hurried down the hall.  She sat back in the chair and slowly sipped her tea.  She didn't know whether to satisfyingly congratulate herself on her selfless act committed in furtherance of Shepard's happiness, or to let tears fall slowly and dramatically into her mug…

He opened the door to the gym and found her viciously assaulting the punching bag in the far corner.  How she could possibly have the energy to even punch, much less dance quickly around the bag as she pummeled it, he would never know.  Tendrils fell loose from her ponytail; a thin sheen of sweat shone on her face and neck.  She didn't look up at him or in any way acknowledge his presence, and he felt the mask drop over his face as he approached her.

He stopped two meters away, crossing his arms over his chest.  "How could you do that?"

Her eyes flitted briefly over to him before returning to the bag as she sidestepped nimbly then launched a vicious combo upon it.  Despite the exertion, her voice was flat.  "We weren't on the ship; you could have ordered me to stand down if you disagreed."

He huffed a breath and shook his head slightly.  "Arguably.  I'm not entirely sure that a Spectre has to take orders from anyone other than the Council."

"I'm not either."  She attacked the bag with a ferociousness that would have shocked all but the most stalwart of observers.  He didn't flinch.

When the barrage had ceased she glanced quickly at him before returning her focus to the bag.  "It worked out, didn't it?"

He exhaled sharply.  "I don't care that it worked out!  You risked the entire Quarian Fleet – you were going to hand them to the Geth for the slaughter – the Geth!  The same Geth that killed Ash, that – "

She whirled on him, eyes flaring sharply.  "Don't you dare bring Ash into this."  Then she turned away just as quickly, her brow furrowing as she unleashed another attack on the bag; this time the punches were unfocused and slid haphazardly off it.  "It's not that simple.  You haven't seen what I have, you don't understand – "

He stepped abruptly in front of the punching bag and grabbed her fist in his palm as she punched outward.

She looked up at him in shock.  In all the time, in all the battles she had shared with him, she had never known that he could be faster than her…

"Then make me understand!  You go inside that Geth server, you – you wouldn't tell me what happened in there, you wouldn't tell me what you were even doing, not really.  You take on a Reaper all by yourself, because you're Commander Fucking Shepard, why the hell not?  You play a game of chicken with the Quarians, and the stakes are their entire species.  You're right, I don't understand any of it.  But that's because you haven't told me a goddamn thing – again!"  

He took a step closer to her, still not releasing her fist.  "You asked me to tell you when you were shutting me out.  Newsflash, you're shutting me out.  Graceyn, I love you more than anything, but I can't stand on the sidelines and watch while you fight this war alone.  I can't stand on the outside and wait, hoping that one day I'll be let back in."

He released her fist and let her arm drop to her side.  His eyes were suddenly watery as his voice dropped into softness.  "For the last time…let me in.  Please."

She stared at him, her expression unreadable as her eyes traced across his cheekbones, along his jaw, over the scar just below his lower lip, then upwards to his eyes.  Finally she looked down at the floor, swallowed hard, and slowly turned away.

Ever since her parents had died she had been alone, existing wholly within herself.  Not the sad, lonely "alone" of course – she had had friends, companions, lovers, mentors, comrades-in-arms.  She treasured people and thrived on being around them.  But she had never before shared everything…shared her life with someone.  She had told him she wanted to, and she had meant it…but it was so damn hard to change…

His heart sank as she turned away.  He opened his mouth, not knowing whether it was to yell or to beg, only knowing that he wasn't going to give up without a fight –   

Then she began to speak, softly, her voice laden with emotion, as she wandered slowly around the room.

"When I went into the Geth server…their world was a grid of electricity and light.  See,  when I was caught in David Archer's construct, the grid had been green and yellow and…crude.  Harsh.  Angry.  It frightened me – which is why I've never talked about it to anyone.  But in the server…power raced all around me, pulsing with life.  I could feel it in my skin, like I was a part of it.  The grid was all blues and silvers and whites…"

She turned around and her eyes raised to meet his, open and vulnerable.  One corner of her mouth turned up ever so slightly.

"And it was beautiful…"